For T-SQL Tuesday this month, Louis Davidson suggested we give our past self some advice.
I’d tell myself, “Use ‘we’, not ‘you’.”
For years, when I gave advice, I’d say things like:
“You’re doing A, when you should really be doing B instead.” “Your code has a problem right here.” “Your network settings are wrong, and you should change them to this instead.”
The very word ‘you’ sets up a confrontational tone that puts the recipient on the defensive. They can’t help but react by taking things personally. We’re just humans, meatbags of emotion.
Instead, use words